Modern Panchtantra Story [IT Humour]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood
( the woodcutter and the axe )
He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "
Is this your computer ?

" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "
No, not at all !!" Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!! ********

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a genius than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Why men are never depressed

Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky..
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

Smallest Girl in the World_indian

Adolescent from India, whom with an increase only in 58 cm, the smallest girl in the world. Jyoti Amge, 14 years, and it shorter than average two-year-old child weighs only 5 kg.

Smallest girl in the world.

Smallest girl in the world.

Baisakhi: Culture and traditions, Baisakhi in Punjab

Baisakhi is one of the most enthusiastically celebrated festival of the Punjab and some adjoining states. This festival falls on the first day of Baisakh which is also the first day of the new year of the Vikram Samvat which makes it all the more auspicious.

This day corresponds to 13th of April. Since wheat is the staple crop of the Punjab, it is the wealth, the measure of economic prosperity, the life and soul of the Punjabi farmers, who regard it as a gift from benevolent Nature.

Baisakhi is by when the wheat crop is ripened and harvested. This ends the day and night vigil of the fields.

Now it's time for fun and frolic. Bhangras are danced by boys and young men and gidda and phoohi by girls and young brides.

Baisakhi melas are held in villages and small towns. As the farmers are flush with money, new clothes, utensils and other household goods are bought.

But during all this jubilation our farmers do not forget benevolent Nature. Though not always well-read, they understand the Vedantic concept of the tripod of existence: Atma (soul), Parmatma (God) and Prakriti (Nature).

They know that good crops are a gift from Nature - rains, sunshine and other favourable weather conditions at different stages of growth are essential for a bumper crop. Yagnas and special Ardas are performed to please the weather gods.

However, if they do not get the desired weather conditions they do not curse Nature but attribute it to their karmas (deeds). Four grain-bearing stems of the auspicious wheat plants are brought to the house.

Often, a thread with wheat stalks is hung above the main door. This is the English rendering of a Punjabi song sung about Baisakhi: "The wheat crop has ripened/ Mango trees are laden with small flowers / Which will grow into juicy fruit / Then the branches bearing the fruit / Will not stand tall and haughty/ But will bend down in all humility / To offer their juicy elixir to the people/ How gracious is Nature!".


5 Chinese, Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .

In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.

Chu became Chuck

Bu became Buck

Hu became Huck

Fu and Su decided to stay in China.

IIM Interview puzzle, Do answer if you can

Check this cool puzzle.....

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened.

A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The member replied, "six" and was let in.

A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The member replied, "three" and was let in.

The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said,"ten" and the man replied, "five."

But he was not let in. What should have he said?

Common guys put on your thinking caps & get the solution......



......... Dont keep scrolling....... think about the answer :)



Ans: - 3

The man had to reply the number of characters in the word the Doorman was asking.

He should have replied "Three" instead of "Five".

Don't shop if you are sad, Sadness can leave hole in your pocket

sadness can leave hole in your pocket Heading out for shopping? Do keep a check on your mood, for if you're feeling gloomy and sad, there are very high chances of you getting a hole in your pocket, according to a new study.
The study shows that people's spending judgment goes out the window when they're down, especially if they're a bit self-absorbed.

According to the study conducted by a team of behavioral scientists from four major U.S. universities, a person's mood may impact how much money he or she spends for routine economic transactions.

"The tendency is to focus on oneself when sad drives this effect," said the study's lead author Cynthia E. Cryder, a doctoral student at Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, Pa. "Our studies revealed the more self-focused people were in the sad condition, the more money they spent," she added.

In one experiment, primarily conducted by researchers at Carnegie Mellon and Harvard University, test subjects viewed either a sad video clip or one devoid of human emotion. The video clips included either a sad scene from the 1979 movie "The Champ" or neutral scenes from a National Geographic documentary on coral reefs.

Afterward, participants could purchase an ordinary commodity, such as a water bottle, at various prices. Participants, randomly assigned to view the sad video clip, offered almost 300 percent more than the "neutral" participants to buy the same product.

Interestingly, in a prior, similar study led by Lerner, participants who viewed the sad video clip typically and incorrectly insisted the emotional content of the film clip did not affect their spending.

The finding showed that people can lack awareness of how feelings impact their own economic decisions. Research team members speculate that self-focus coupled with sadness causes people to devalue both themselves and their current possessions. The result, they believe, is increased willingness to pay more for new material goods, presumably to enhance the sense of self.

"Self-focus helps explain the spending differences between the 'sad' and 'neutral' groups. Sadness tends to increase self-focus, making the increased spending prompted by the combination of sadness and self-focus difficult to avoid," said study co-author Jennifer Lerner, an experimental social psychologist at Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government in Cambridge, Mass.

The so-called "misery is not miserly" effect may be even more dramatic in real life, as the low-intensity sadness evoked in the experiment likely underestimates the power of intense sadness on spending behavior.

Moreover, say researchers, the effect could extend to domains beyond purchasing decisions. It may cause people to engage in increased stock trading or to seek new relationships without conscious awareness that they are being driven by their emotions.

The study 'Misery is not Miserly: Sad and Self-Focused Individuals Spend More' will be published in the journal Psychological Science. (ANI)

School Days Really Funny

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------------
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am. Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
------------ --------- --------- -------

Truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy


A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,


Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy

Sreesanth in Dubai

Shreesanth in Dubai

Sreesanth in Dubai......Dont miss

George Bush and Abdul Kalam. Hilarious - read this!

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He
Asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to
Surround him with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the
right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister,
please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not
your brother or sister. Who is it?"





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- Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir!"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.

He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza Rice
to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder if you
can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has
a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to
you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over
the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this
child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and
exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's










our Colin Powell !"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's











Manmohan Singh!"

Every Monkey Has His Day :)

Every Monkey has his day

Every Monkey Has His Day :)

Eleven Rules For Healthy Friendship

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is morepainful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it'salso true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetimeto forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what youwant to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you,it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; atimely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everythingthey just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When youwere born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Dont drink and come to Office

This is what happens, when you drink and comes to office

This is what happens, when you drink and come to office. So please take care.


Well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"Still the hands were up in the air."Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams."VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED"