This is how hike in Petrol price is affecting youngsters...
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Terrific Tongue Twisters to Twist Your Tongue
1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
Boss Kidnapped !!!!!! What 2 do???
Something to make you smile
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are inloud discussions during office time.....Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happenedto a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?""Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going todouse him with petrol and set him on fire.We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
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"About 1 litre."
Cool Tounge Twisters.... ( Have a Try, Hope you will enjoy)
1. If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
MORE NUDITY ? INNOCENT QUESTION.
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
KETCHUP: Innocent Questions
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
OPINIONS: Innocent Questions
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
Innocent Questions On NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
BLONDE PILOT KOOL JOKE, FUN TIME, REALLY FUNNY
A blond is on board a small two- seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams.
Ground control receives her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First, I need you to give me your height and position."
"I'm 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!"
Why men are never depressed
Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky..
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
CHINESE TO USA
5 Chinese, Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .
In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck
*****
Fu and Su decided to stay in China.
School Days Really Funny
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: How old is ur father.
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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am. Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
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Sex, sighs and surveys: Prediction 2008
Children make some of the most candid observations. When a six-year-old asked at a party, "Why do elders get funny when someone says sex?" the adults present didn't have an answer. Much later someone said, "Last year there was too much sex-talk in the air, don't know what will happen this year."
Going by the many surveys last year and all thing sex-related that made the headlines, here is what we think will be utmost on our minds in 2008, sexually of course.1. Children and sex will remain in focus.
Both in terms of child sex education and child pornography/sexual abuse. They should too given the September 2007 report released by the Ministry and Child Development announced we had 53.22 per cent children abused in India.
Circa 2008: Given the rising numbers and the raging debate around sex-education for children, hopefully'sex education' will be viewed differently: Less on whether 16-year-olds are mating in class and more about protecting the children from what should not happen to them, be it someone their age or older.
More column space, more lad mags and chick-lit, more blogs and yes, more sex... While 68 per cent Indians are happy with their sex lives apparently only 46 per cent have'regular' orgasms (Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey, April 2007).
Circa 2008: The rest of the Indians will also strive to the join the happy-with-sex-lives lot and those who are having sex will find no reason to stop seeking that O.
Survey also shows that Indians get satisfied with little and have the quickest sex in the world. The rest of the world takes 18 minutes while we make do with 13 minutes. We are fast and even the women don't mind given 66 per cent of Indian women were satisfied with their sex lives. Foreplay of course is a myth.
Circa 2008: However, given that the lesser men were satisfied with their sex lives (58 per cent) as compared to the women, men would have sex even faster and with more women to satisfy themselves. Five years of research and studying 237 reasons on WHY people have sex, research has already shown that it's lust that drives temptation and not love. Infidelity will definitely increase.
Vibrating condoms, glowing condoms, condoms with rings, paan flavoured condoms, female condom... 2007 saw much happening in the latex industry. While people responded positively, some felt sexual satisfaction was against'Indian culture'. It's a miracle 68 per cent Indians are happy with their sex lives.
Circa 2008: Sides will be divided on whether vibrating condoms are sex toys and if sex toys should be allowed. While sex toys might just be introduced in the market this year, availability and access are question. While 57 per cent Indians want sex toys (politically correct phrase is'products aimed at improving sex lives') it will be an interesting purchase for most are shy even when purchasing condoms.
Just when Indian parents were celebrating that their teenage children are really not having sex in schools - research showed that Indians lose their virginity late at 22.9 years - another research announced that late'losers' could have sex related problems, like premature ejaculation. A whole lot of Indians don't get married till 30 years.
Circa 2008: With teenagers growing up confused about sex and government banning anything related to Sexual Pleasure for adults, Indians will be clearly divided. A large number of Indians will marry young. The late singles will live-in with each other... Those who cant get married or cant find a release will roam the streets, disrobing women in mobs. There will be more trouble with landlords and more government people will be unhappy. There will be more surveys.
The Indian hell...........
A man dies and goes to hell.
There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
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Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,*
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someone has stolen all the nails from the bed
and
the devil is a former Govt servant,
so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!! !
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tarandeep